You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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