The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
