So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
