chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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