physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
