If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
