plz talk dirty to me
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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