my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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