spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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