Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
