I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
