Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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