He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
