Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Randomize
