Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I am available for nakedness
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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