Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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