Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Randomize