i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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