It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
