so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Farmville is her only friend.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
