Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
