Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
