so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
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