My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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