Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
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