do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
