you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
