I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
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