do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
