my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
