we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
