god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
