ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
