should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
