Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
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