So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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