I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
