420 ftw
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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