We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize