And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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