that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
