Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
