3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize