he puts the penis in happiness.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
