i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Randomize
