he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
