I CAN MOONWALK!
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
where does the pee come out of this thing
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize