I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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