can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
