Already got asked if we're dating
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Randomize
