Your dad touched me again.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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