I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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