I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
