haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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