Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Randomize
