Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
