Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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