can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
