4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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