Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I don't deserve a penis
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
